I fessed up to all my family & friends on facebook

So I decided if I truly wanted to get real & come clean this week I had to dig deep, get over myself and just put it all out there. And the best way? On facebook for all my family & friends to see. No more hiding! This is what I wrote....

Firstly, this is serious. This isnt me on my soupbox again about some random thing, or some silly spam or wateva. This dead serious, and I need your help. This is very hard for me to say this so publicly, but hear me out. This is pretty much as raw as one gets, and I do expect that anyone who reads this keeps this to themselves and doesnt repeat it to people I dont know.

Its no secret I am overweight. I have been battling my weight for many years now and its time for intervention! I have high blood pressure, I have trouble breathing sometimes and im headed in the right direction for a heart attack and diabtetes very soon!

Some of you may know, most wont, that I am doing the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation program which kicks off on May 23. For those who have never heard of it, Michelle Bridges (for those who live under a rock) is the red trainer on The Biggest Loser, and has developed a 12 week online training program which many others like myself are doing. Everyone doing the program starts at the same time- May 23rd, and finishes 12 weeks later with a big party at the end (probably in Sydney- so wanna go meet Mish!!) and there are prizes and things aswell. The biggest prize for me would be gaining control over my weight and living a healthy & active lifestyle again.

Before the challenge begins, Mish makes us do 8 'pre-season' tasks which are about preparing yourself for the challenge so you succeed. The first was introducing ourselves to our fellow team mates on the online forums. This weeks task was about getting real, coming clean and throwing out the excuses. And what better why to get real & come clean then to everyone I know on FB. Mish says that in order for us to succeed we have to face our demons and lay it all out so there are no excuses when the challenge starts. So here goes.

I overeat. I boredom eat. I eat stupid quantities of bad food. I dont exercise. I use food as a reward. Im an emotional eater. Im a stress eater. I sit in my car before work and eat because its less embarrassing. I hide food from my husband because im ashamed.

I am full of excuses. Im not worth it. Im too busy. Im too tired. Who cares? Ill probably fail anyway. This is just another weightloss program ill probably quit like the rest of them. Ill do it another day. This isnt the right time in my life to be trying to lose weight. Im not ready for change. Im scared of change. Ill look stupid at the gym. The gym is probably too busy. Its raining outside and I dont like driving in the rain to the gym. Ive got study to do. Ive got an assignment due. I have to work soon so I have to relax first. I have to spend time with my friends & family. I work long hours. Im a shift worker. Im exhausted. Junk food is cheaper. Im too busy to cook a healthy meal. I dont want to clean up the kitchen after cooking. I dont have time to eat something proper. I need 3 coffees before I can function. I need caffienated soft drinks to function. I need a sugar hit in the afternoon. I need sugar before bed. I dont know how to cook healthy. I hate the taste of water. I hate most fruits. I get bored with salad. What difference does it make anyway?

Excuses, excuses, excuses!!!!!!!!!! No more!!!

I am telling everybody this to hold myself responsible for my own actions. I am the reason im fat and im the only one who can change that. I have started a blog about my weightloss journey: http://ticklishtakingcontrol.blogspot.com/ feel free to check it out if you would like to see how i am going. I would love for people to ask me how im going.....'Hey Jess, did you exercise this morning before work? Are you going to go to the gym tonight? What healthy meals have you had this week??'

Im asking you, my family & friends for support. My life depends on it. And hopefully next time I see you, I will be looking abit slimmer and feeling much healthier.

<3 Jess.