KEEP CALM & CARRY ON

I love love love the KEEP CALM & CARRY ON poster, and have found sone great similar ones. And I just felt like sharing. Have you found any other good ones??

Week 2 Blogging Challenge

Right, week 2 blog challenge- go check it out at http://courage2start.blogspot.com/

What I want from this blogging challenge is ...

tell me about your STRENGTHS
I WANT to know about your physical strengths.
I WANT to know about your mental strenghts.
I WANT to know about the habits you have that make you strong
I WANT to know what it is about you that makes you the fighter that is inside.

You can't just tell me one thing. Tell me what makes you strong.
Make me BELIEVE it! Make me BELIEVE you are going to fight for your health and you HAVE the power!
Tell me what prepares you to fight these 12 weeks now to make you extraordinary.
What is deep inside you that means you are going to succeed.
And how are you going to use those strengths??

Inspire me.
Cause you ARE inspirational to me.
Now I want to be sure that YOU believe it..

 1: Physical Strengths.

I think im fairly strong. Ive noticed in the last few weeks since exercising with my husband that we are lifting similar weights in a few of the exercises and it makes me really proud that I can keep up with a man when it comes to lifting weights! I used to do weight training with a personal trainer 2-3 times a week for the 6 months leading up to my wedding and I was lifting some incredible amounts of weights. As an example- right now im lifting 40-50kg on the leg-press, and when I was with my trainer I was doing 100-110kg, so I know deep down that I more then capable of getting back to that weight and building up that strength once again!

I also think im abit of a machine when it comes to the bikes. If only those seats were abit more comfy! Im not very good at speed but I am fairly good at endurance. I can go a steady rate on the random program for a good amount of time and feel great.

2. Mental Strengths.

My husband said to me last night that he is very impressed with my motivation at the moment. He has seen me go through countless weightloss programs before and he said he has never seen me in this frame of mind before- so determined and focused to succeed. That means the world to me. I do give up very easy but I think a mental strength of mine is that when I AM focused nothing stops me. I become obsessed with it, and I live & breathe every second of it. And I definetely feel a different type of energy this time. I get it now. I understand the process of change. Consistency is key. Living beyond the limits. Pushing beyond the unthinkable. Nothing is impossible. Even I cant stop me. Nothing can stop me. This is my lightbulb moment. This is me, leaving my body and looking back at myself and seeing not a broken woman anymore- there is massive potential here, and that potential will be filled. It will be blasted out of the water. I wont know whats hit me, but I know I like it, and I want more!!

3. The Fighter Inside.

Ive always been a fighter but in a different kind of way. Im a total perfectionist to the point where I think even my accomplishments arent good enough and this is my downfall which im starting to realise now. Ive never felt like im worthy enough and ive never done anything good enough. When I finished university-yes I was proud I was finished, but I didnt graduate with honours or even a distinction and to me that meant failure. Ive worked the ladder in my career and am now working in a highly skilled & demanding area of nursing practice- intensive care- which to me is the pinicle of knowledge & skill in nursing yet I still feel like a failure. Im still not proud of that. Now I look at my career and think- im just a doctors slave. To other people im just a person who wipes up shit and follows doctors orders. Yet I know deep down its this feeling which pushes me further in my career and I need to change perspectives. I need to see the positives of this way of thinking and turn it around. 

I think im ugly. I see no beauty when I look at myself in the mirror. I am a plain jane. There is nothing nice to look at. I get told im beautiful and I love that my husband finds me so attractive but I just dont see it. I want to see it though, and I think this is what makes me a fighter. I dont want to ignore those compliments anymore, I want to embrace them. I want to agree. I want to be able to look at myself and think' hey, im alright!' 

I have dealt with alot of nasty people in my life. I have been bullied & beaten down so much with words, both direct & indirect and I hold alot of grudges to people in my past. I picture these people in my mind when im struggling with my exercise- I see their smug faces and I use this to push myself so one day I can confront them and say ' I told you I could do it!!', then completely dismiss them without another thought.  

update

Happy Tuesday everyone!!!!

Been super busy the last few days, working long hours, hitting the gym and cooking yummy food!! So far ive had a great week, have gone to the gym everyday except Sunday (rest day) and did my Super Saturday Session of 1001cals. Weigh-in day tomorrow- id love to see 1kg gone, fingers crossed!!

I noticed a few weeks ago some people posted on the forums about low calorie hot chocolate and how the Jarrah brand was full of chemicals and what other good low calorie hot chocolates may be out there? Today I found an organic drinking chocolate from Abundant Earth in the hot choc aisle at Coles (it was on the bottom shelf) and it looks fairly ok. Its 51cals per 14g serving (compared to 45cals per 11g serving of the Jarrah) and ingrediants are organic sugar, organic cocoa powder, organic skim milk powder & natural flavour. So numbered ingrediants! It tastes pretty good aswell.

Diet wise this week has been fairly good. I worked 12hr night shifts on the weekend which I was worried would be a hurdle but with a little planning it was ok. I had a late lunch (like 3pm), then started work at 6pm, had my dinner break at 9-10pm, then breakfast break at 3-4am then just had a small snack when I got home from work at 8:30am then slept all day. This worked really well. I also made a big effort to drink more water on night shift! I always get so dehydrated & headachey when I work nights because I usually drink coffee all night, then sleep all day so have no water at all! But this time I made the plan that I would limit myself to 2 coffees overnight and the rest was water and I dealt with that quite easily.

Exercise has been good this week. The weights have been a killer but so good to get back into again. I gotta admit I had a little chuckle to myself this week when I was in the weights section at my gym and there about 6 guys going hard on their weights, lifting like 50kg+ and here is me- the only girl- and lifting....5kg. Hahaha! Felt slightly intimidated, but I had fun! Last night at the gym was very very busy- I have never seen it that busy at 10pm before! My husband said he saw lots of guys checking me out but I think he was just trying to make me feel good, I seriously doubt that. Or if they were looking it was in shock horror lol. Anyway, I was really in the zone last night and smashed it on the x-trainer- I finally beat my husband on distance! Was so happy with myself. Now I just gotta beat him on every other machine there! Its fun having some competition between us. Well, lots of study to do- exam in 2 weeks (OMG) but I will be back to post tomorrow (maybe do a new vlog) with week 2 weigh-in results. And hopefully I can get to doing the blog posting challenge sometime today aswell. Take care everyone!

day 4

Firstly- blogger isnt letting me reply/post comments to my own posts so I have to reply here! To Kathy- the 700gms was over a week, not 2 days.

Next- a new vlog. So much easier then writing! Plus you get to listen to my voice and witness my post exercise glow (sweat & tears!! hehehe)

first weigh-in

I lost 700grams this week. Was pretty disappointed at first, especially as people were losing like 4kg+ in 2 days!! Plus im over 100kg so I was expecting bigger numbers. But still, it could be worse, couldve been a gain! Thinking back I have had a fairly up & down week. I had to skip gym a few days being sick, and I did have a few extra calories (which yes I did an extra session for, but obviously didnt work!)

Well, its a new week and a fresh start and im determined to do much better this week! Following the plan to a tee, counting every calorie and weighing my food to the exact gram. Im so sore from yesturdays weights session, but glad today is cardio as I feel like im doing more fat-burning when I do cardio compared to weights.

On a completely unrelated topic, can I just say that the new Lady Gaga album came out this week and its AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. Its so good!! Thank you for mother monster!!!!! You get me through every gym session!

day 2

thinspiration: image heavy!

video blogging is so much easier then typing!!! lazy!! hehehe!!

Blogging challenge

So the loverly Kath over at http://courage2start.blogspot.com/2011/05/mindset-monday-first-blogging-challenge.html has started a blog ring/challenge each week based on the mindset lessons to make us all pour our hearts out and get those feelings out there for the blogworld to see! Hells yer im into that!!!!!

If you can dream it you can achieve it!!!
I want you to paint me a word picture. Pretend today is not today. You are not nervous, or overwhelmed or apprehensive or excited about the next 12 weeks. You are none of those things because you have LIVED it! You are at the finish line!

Maybe today is the day you run city 2 surf! Maybe it is the finale party. Maybe you are at the final workout. Maybe you are standing up there on the stage with Mish - a WINNER this round.

Paint me the picture. What are you feeling? What are you wearing? What can you do?
What have been your greatest achievements? Your biggest challenges?

How do you feel inside?? Just how excited ARE you???

Before you achieve it - you have to dream it. Put those dreams down. Make them real.
The more specific your dreams the closer you are to making them a reality.

I like to use words AND pictures, as im more of a visual person!

This will be me, looking very Jessica Alba-like on holidays in Bali next year! Im feeling incredibly healthy and super-fit and bursting with confidence as I strut around in my bikini looking hot!! I can do anything I want to on this holiday- no weight holding me back! I can go snorkeling, I can go running on the beach, go swimming, and feel confident enough & good about myself to treat myself to some luxury pampering & spa treatments without being embarrassed by my weight!. My greatest achievment will being able to love myself and to feel confident in myself and not hear that little voice saying 'you are disgusting' over & over again! My biggest challenge I overcame was to let myself enjoy some happiness in my life and truly feel I deserve to be happy & healthy. I feel the best I ever felt before in my life and my excitment levels are off the gauge! Its pure bliss!!

exhausted!

please excuse the horrible sight that is me after a long day!!! hehehe!

PIES!!!

Week 1 opened up today, as most of you know. I have had to do alot more planning then most, being vegetarian, and working out substitutes for the meat's but I will post about that abit later. For now, I must share you with this awesome pie I made. My husband & I are quite into the tv show Masterchef, and one of the challenges last week was a pie cook-off and we both got all excited so decided to make our own (and put it a vote between family & friends). I wont share a pic of my husbands as it had a rather rude picture on the top (a penis!) but here is my masterpiece which I won the most votes for! Its a 'vege' chicken, mushroom, onion, basil, spinach & gravy pie on a bed of spinach, cucumber & parmesen salad with paprika ricotta. It came in at 438cals for the whole dish, which wasnt too bad for a full-pastry pie, and it was sooooooooooo yum!!!! Wont be making these for awhile, so I enjoyed it! Hubby made a chili-con-carne pie. Just chili-con-carne out of a can- how boring!!!

Will be back to post probably sunday night or monday morning with more details on my planning for next week but im working crazy hours til then, so have a great weekend planning everyone!!

VLOG!!!

Lets let it all hang out!!!

Measurement day!!! Its exciting & nerve-racking all at the same time!!

So my starting measurements are:

Weight: 105.8kg

Chest: 110cm

Waist: 114cm

Hips: 131cm

Left thigh: 80cm

Right thigh: 80cm

And just to gross everyone out- my before picture. Yes its disgusting. Yes you will want to scratch your eyes out, so do I! But I am NEVER going back to this.

This is a picture of someone who is not living there life. She is depressed every time she looks in the mirror. She sometimes cries at night because she hates the person she has become. She is forcing everyone in her life away because she cant even stand her own self. Behind that forced smile is a broken woman who is angry inside but it is this anger which will fuel the course of change. No longer will this girl exist. She will soon become a distant memory.

On a happier note, I got my major essay back today, got 75% which im stoked with! Only need to get 10% on my exam now to pass uni this semester. Yay!

Milestones

Im having abit of trouble coming up with my mini & major milestones for the 12wbt. For the major one im pretty set on the idea of the 10km for the Brisbane running festival which is 5-7th of August (one week before the 12wbt ends). They do a marathon, half-marathon, 10km & 3km. I think the 3km may be too easy and the half & full marathons way out of my league, but the 10km may just be achievable!

For the mini milestones, im still stuck. The first one is in 4 weeks, and is the week of my exam so im more stressed about that but I cant use that as an excuse! Right now im thinking, to run 1km nonstop should be my 4 week MM, and to run 5km (can have breaks) will be my 8 week MM. Does this sound okay????? I want to have an achievable goal, and not something that sounds so completely undoable that I just set myself up for failure.

Forgive me Michelle, for I have sinned!!

Right, so just gonna come right out with it. I FEEL LIKE SHIT!!!!!!!!! Ive got a horrible cold right now and I dont do well when it comes to colds! I havent been to the gym for the last 2 nights and the last time I went I didnt do very much (pretty sure I was starting to get sick at this time), I only did weights which didnt make my 500cal target (i got to 380cals). So along with total upper body muscle aches from the weights session, my whole body is aching from this cold. Its so shit!!!!!! Im so angry im sick right now, I so wanted to ace pre-season. My diet hasnt been too bad, ive been having abit of ice-cream though (lowest fat/calories) I could find as its the only thing that soothes my throat for a whole 5 minutes despite being doped up on panadol & ibuprofen and every multi-vitamin I can get my hands on! So im not expecting any weightloss at this week, just hope there isnt a gain. But overall I am praying im over this cold by start of the 12wbt next week. Gah!!

Finally!!!

 My blogger account has been down for days now! So annoying. Glad to be back! First, a piccie of my babies Lucy & Leon getting some ZZZZ's in the sun as they are just so darn cute!

Well, lots to catch up on! Weighed in on Thursday, and I have lost 1.6kg this week! Totally stoked with that! And thats with a few helpings of mothers day cake aswell, so really happy. This week certaintly made me re-think my goals. Id like to lose 3kg during the pre-season, and id like to aim for 15kg in 12 weeks, so 18kg all up by the end of the 12wbt which will bring me to 88.7kg. My original goal was to get to 90kg which was my wedding weight but I think I can push past that into the 80's!

I bought Michelle Bridges Crunchtime Cookbook this week aswell, just for some more vegetarian options mainly. Last night I made her spaghetti bolognese recipe (the front cover recipe aswell) which is originally made with beef mince but I swapped this for textured vegetable protein instead. I also added mushrooms (gotta have mushrooms in a bolognese!!) It was pretty good, even hubby ate it! Michelle uses alot of diced vegetables in her recipe but I grated mine so they were more 'hidden' as my husband isnt a big fan of chunky vegetables (or any vegetables for that matter!) and he loved his aswell. The serving size was massive!!!!! I had to triple check the serving sizes & quantities because it was massive. I only ate half of mine aswell, and will have the other half for lunch today. Here's a piccie of it:

I did my first 1000calorie gym session last night! Im so happy with myself right now hehehe! I gotta admit, when I saw we had to do a 1000cal session once a week I was abit nervous but I wanted to see if I could get there before the challenge starts (only 9 days to go yay!) and fair enough I smashed it! It took me 1hr & 40mins. I did 15km on the bike on level 8 resistance (the most ive ever done- I started last week doing 2km on level 5!) I did 750m on the rower (which was a race between me & my husband- he won.) and I did running intervals on the treadmill for 1-1.5minutes each run. I honesly forget how many I did and in what time frame as I was just focused on getting over that 1000cal reading on my HRM (1022cals to be exact!) Im still getting my head around the whole fat burn zone VS fitness zone thing on my HRM but I spent 5mins in fatburn zone and 1hr 35min in fitness zone so no idea what that means. My max HR was 181bpm and my average HR was 161bpm. Felt so amazing afterwards! Its just awesome to know I can do those 1000cal sessions and ive only been going to the gym for a little over a week now! Imagine where I will be in 6 weeks! So excited to get this challenge rollin!

Major Motivation!

Its been decided that we are going to Bali at the end of next year! What a great motivation booster! Id like to be at my goal weight by April next year, which will give me plenty of time to tone up by the end of the year. I WILL be in a bikini! Im loving this one below- from billabong. So cute!

In other news, my father in law had his heart operation today. Everything went well. Get this though, he has a heart condition from too much exercise! He has always been a heavy exerciser and had enlarged his heart so much the valves were stretched and he developed mitral regurgitation where the valve doesnt shut properly and blood goes backwards instead of forward. But he will be back on his feet in no time, probably climbing a mountain knowing him!

Ive watched the video for this weeks task- the kitchen makeover. I will do it either tonight or tomorrow. I dont really have anything too bad lurking in there anyway. As for the stocking up, will do that next week when I get paid.

I bought Michelle Bridges Crunchtime Cookbook today (on sale at Big W- yay) and there are some great looking vegetarian meals in there, so im going to go through it and label all the ones id like to try!

Im weighing in tomorrow- will be a week tomorrow since I started my pre-season exercise & dieting so will be good to see how ive gone. I havent been too strict calorie wise, have had a few slices of cake (damn you mothers day!) but ive been to the gym everyday and burned off 500cals each session so will be good to see any difference.

Pumping Iron!

Was at the gym at midnight last night! So good to have the place to yourself. Hubby & I did weights last night, which was great to get back into again. And im not very sore this morning, which either is a good thing or bad because maybe I didnt work it hard enough? Certainly felt like it though! I burned so many cals doing weights aswell! smashes them up. Well, thats it really, off to read everyone else's blogs!

I forget what day im up to.....oh well

Progress post- so it twas mothers day yesturday, went to a BBQ for dinner, had 2 vegie sausages, salad & corn on the cob (gotta have corn on the cob when at a BBQ!) but I didnt have any butter on my corn or any dressing on my salad and my sausages werent cooked in oil or fat. I did have a very tiny piece of chocolate mudcake for dessert though, but I made sure I enjoyed it! I still went to the gym that night anyway, and burnt off 500cals.

Today is a whole day of family food events- we are having my father in law & his partner over for lunch, then my parents over for dinner. For dinner, im making a roast chook with salad & breadrolls for everyone else, and for me im having vegie sausages (again, I know, but I love them!) with salad only. No idea what im doing for dinner with my parents though! We shall see.....

Oh...I got my new Polar FT7 watch delivered today yay! Its so pretty & red! Cant wait to try it out at the gym tonight.

Day 3

Worked night shift last night, did as I planned with my diet which went well. Ive had 4hrs sleep today and I have to work again tonight and I need to try get more sleep but im sitting here, in bed, stomach growling like a gremlin!!!! Man im hungry today!! I was expecting this anyday now- suddenly dropping to 1200cals a day & burning 500cals a day at the gym then night shifts was going to make me hungry at some stage. Hmm..maybe I should have an early dinner with lots of vegies then try for another nap?

Mothers day tomorrow- I finish work at 7:30am, will see how I feel in the morning but I really should go to the gym either in the morning or late evening. We have a BBQ in the afternoon which im not worried about (everyone there knows im doing this) and ill be taking along my own vegie sausages to have with salad. Then im on holidays for 9 days yay! Gonna try smash the gym everyday if I can. I have my exam for uni on June 15th and have done NO study so also need to cram like crazy with the lecture notes on those days off. Ive got my roster up until mid-June and ive been plotting in times to go to the gym and im able to do 5-6 times a week which is awesome. Cant wait til official kick-off!

Day 2

Was meant to be just focusing on diet this week, but my loverly husband decided he would join the gym aswell to help support me (plus it wouldnt hurt him to lose a few), so we hit the gym last night! I havent got my new HRM yet, but I digged up my very old one (still a Polar F11) and smashed out 500 calories in 50mins! I did about 10-15mins on each of the treadmill, crosstrainer, rower & high & low bikes. I admit I was fairly stuffed by the end of the session but not as bad as I thought I would be. Ive been abit nervous about how hard I need to go to get the 1000cal super session but I think its totally doable!Of course, I realise its going to be easier for me being very overweight to burn off calories easier and will keep adjusting my HRM as I get skinnier. But still, I was just wrapped that I got to 500cal last night. And we are going to the gym again this morning yay!!!

My diet has been good aswell, followed to a tee of what I posted previously. Tonight is a 12hr night, so im going to have to tweak it abit. I leave home at 6pm to start at 7pm and dont get my first break til about 9-10pm, so im thinking for today I will have breakfast & lunch as usual, then for dinner I will do the soup thing but have half a can before I leave for work then the other half with a piece of bread on my 9pm break. Then my next break is at 3amish so I thought I would have my normal porridge then I get home at about 8:30am and will have an apple before bed. Its so exciting starting already. Well, not Mish's program, but just following 1200cals a day & exercising. On the way home from the gym last night my husband said he felt so great afterwards and I agreed. It was his first time ever in a gym! So great to finally get him into one with me! Now we can race each other on the machines hehehe! That will be abit hard for me, I was watching him last night & he is alot fitter then I thought he was!

Day 1

Weighed in today: 106.7kg. I thought I was 108kg so thats something I guess! But still, 106.7kg is crazy!!

This week I am mainly focusing on changing my diet- getting used to a 1200cal plan each day. Exercise is optional, although I know from past experiences exercising makes me super-hungry & this week is going to be hard enough as it is going from a high calorie diet to a lower one. Yesturday I ate like I would any other day and consciously worked through each meal with the thoughts that this was wrong, it was making me unhappy and this would be the very last time. I honestly didnt enjoy any of the food with those thoughts going through my mind and I have woken today feeling very optimistic about my diet changes. And just to come clean I will share what I ate yesturday. Be warned, its pretty bad, but this is a typical day for me and is obviously why im fat!

Breakfast (5am): 2 hashbrowns & a 'bacon' & egg muffin (i didnt eat the bacon) and a full fat cappucino from McDoanlds on the way to work.

Lunch (12am): 2 vege sushi rolls (nothing bad with that though! I checked it and it was 350cals on calorie king)

Afternoon snacks (4pm): 2 mars bars while out shopping.

Dinner (7pm): very large serving of oven baked chips.

Dessert (10pm): a bounty & a twix chocolate bar.

TOTAL CALORIES: 2314.

How shameful. But thats all in the past now. Here's to the future!

Fitting it all in

I know we arent up to the task of working out our diaries and plans, but its been troubling me on how im going to fit it all in with shift work & study. Ive posted a topic about it on the forums and have had some interesting replies, and hopefully Michelle may have some tips aswell. I think a few people on the forums arent reading it properly and think im making excuses for not finding time to exercise which isnt the case at all. Ive got time, just not in the same way as people who work mon-fri 9-5. I cant squeeze in time to exercise when there is no time to squeeze anything into! Ultimetely we need to be doing 6 gym sessions a week with one of them being a double, or 1000cals. Ive sorta come up with a rough idea of how to manage my days with work & study and see where I have time to fit in gym sessions.

Day shifts were I have to work the day after aswell.

4:30am- wake up, breakfast, get ready, drive to work.

7:30pm- finish work, drive home.

8:30pm- get home, have shower, do dishes, feed dogs etc.

9:30pm- go to bed.

Last day shift before nights or days off.

Same as above til 7:30pm- finish work, drive to gym.

8:30pm- arrive at gym, get changed. Work out for an hour.

9:45pm- drive home.

10pm- get home, shower, dishes, dogs etc.

11pm- go to bed.

1st night shift.

8am- get up, breakfast, drive to gym.

9am- get to gym, 1hr workout.

10am- finish gym, drive home.

10:30am- get home, shower, do any chores, have lunch.

12am-2pm- study.

2pm-5pm- nap before work. (it usually takes me about 1-2hrs to even fall asleep during the day)

5pm- get up & ready for work.

6pm- go to work.

Work til 7:30am next day.

7:30am- drive home.

8:30am- get home, shower, go to bed.

Sleep til 5pm

5pm- get up, get ready for work.

6pm- go to work again.

Last Night Duty (then onto days off).

7:30am- finish work, drive to gym.

8:30am- get to gym, get changed, workout 1hr.

9:30am-go home.

10am- get home, shower, go to bed.

Sleep til 6pm

6pm- wake up, dinner, dishes, dogs etc.

8pm-10pm- study.

Days Off

8am- get up, breakfast, go to gym.

9am- get to gym, workout 1-1.5hrs

10-10:30am- finish gym, go home.

10:30am- get home, shower.

11am-5pm- study, free time.

5pm- dinner.

7pm- drive to gym.

7:30pm-8:30pm- gym session 1hr.

9:00pm- get home, shower.

9:30pm- bed.  

On average I either do 3 day or 3 night shifts in a row with 4 days off afterwards. So counting up all available times to go to the gym I can do 4 days of double sessions, so 8 single sessions, plus 1 session on my last day shift or 1 session after my last night shift, so I have time to do 9 gym sessions a week. And we only need to do 6 a week, with one of them being a 1000cal session. Hopefully this may show that im not full of excuses about being time-poor, I just have to use my time differently to most people. Hopefully someone else in a similar boat could get some ideas about better time management aswell, looking at the whole week as one, and not single days like the fortunate majority of people do....

Old photos

 Back down memory lane today for this weeks task on goal setting: old photos of me when I was at my goal weight and what id like to get back to.

At a friends 18th. I was about 68kg here.

At my engagement party. I was about 65kg here. I still have these shorts aswell!!

Old, skinny clothes

 As part of task 3 this week, I digged out all my old skinny clothes to set some goals of outfits id like to wear again.

First up, these a size 12 sportsgirl pants. Ive never worn them and this photo does no justice, but they are so amazing!! Its hard to see, but there are faint gold stripes going down the legs aswell, and the back is very military with buttons etc. Oh cant wait!!

 These are a pair of size 12 shorts from jeanswest which I also have never worn. To me it signifies going for long hikes in cute shorts!

 This demin skirt is a size 12 (very snug size 12!) from jeanswest and I used to wear this skirt pretty much everyday at uni! I love simple, basic clothes to match current trends to and a hot demin skirt is always key!

 Now this white skirt is a size 16 from esprit. This is something im aiming to fit into much sooner then the other clothes. Id like to be in this skirt by the end of the 12 weeks. Last time I wore this I think I was about 90kg, which is 18kg to lose, but I know I can get into this by the end of the challenge!

 This dress is just so stunning on. Its a size 10 from powerhouse and I wore it to my cousins wedding and looked amazing! Again, the photo does no justice, but it has alot of subtle glitter through the print and its so pretty!!!

 These jeans are a very snug size 16 from jeanswest and are another clothing goal I can reach sooner then later. Id like to be in these jeans by the end of the challenge. Ive never worn them either.

 Getting into the skimpy stuff now! These size 10 aqua shorts are so cute over a bikini and this is ultimate goal material right here!

Again, tiny little size 10 roxy boardshorts which I cant believe my butt used to look great in!

Facts & Figures

Ive been reading Michelle Bridges 'crunchtime' book and looking up online all about the science of weightloss with formula's for basal metabolic rate, how many calories to burn per kg etc and have come up with some interesting figures. Im pretty certain they are accurate aswell as its all explained in Mish's book.

To start with- my basal metabolic rate, the number of calories I burn if I was to lay in bed all day. Based on my age, gender, height & weight, my BMR is 1885cals per day. Then using the Harris Benedict Formula of factoring in lifestyle ( I chose sedentary, even though im on my feet at work all day), I multiply my daily BMR by 1.2, which equals 2262cals per day. So my weekly BMR is 2262 x 7= 15834.

Next, the exercise- our mission (which we have chosen to accept) is to burn 3500cals per week. So adding the 3500cals per week exercise with my BMR(15834) equals 19334cals per week burned.

Now for calories in: 1200cals a day is 8400cals per week.

Now for the highly scientific formula: calories in minus calories out!

8400 (in) - 19334 (out) =10934cals deficit per week.

Next is calories per kilo. After much research its well estimated that 3500 cals is equal to 450grams (or 0.45kg) So my deficit of 10934, divided by 3500 equals 3.124. Now multiply 3.124 by .45, and this equals 1.4058. So my estimated weight lost per week based on the mathematics of weightloss is 1.4kg.

Interesting stuff!

Obviously, this calculation will change as I lose weight- my BMR is based on weight so it drops so will my BMR and my calorie deficit. So it will be good to re-calculate the above as I lose weight to see how much more calories I need to burn to maintain a steady weightloss.

Getting in the groove

Im going to start cleaning up my diet this week in preparation for when the challenge starts. I have no idea what kind of mealplan we will be on but I know its 1200cals a day so ive tried to structure it around that. Im sure the 12wbt diet will have more specific requirments in terms of protein, carbs, fats etc but for now im just going to start with managing 1200cals the best way I think. So this is my diet plan for the week:

Breakfast: 34g (1 satchet) of instant oats with 250mls calcium-fortified soy milk & 50g of mixed berries. CALORIES: 318.

Morning Tea: 1 apple. CALORIES: 68.

Lunch: 2 slices soy & linseed bread with salad (baby spinach, sprouts, cucumber) and 63g vegetarian 'lunchmeat'. CALORIES: 332.

Afternoon tea: 1 tub of soy yogurt. CALORIES: 145.

Dinner: OPTION 1: dry baked vegies (zucchini, capsicum, 100g pumpkin, 60g sweet potato) with 120g BBQ soy sausages. CALORIES: 328.

OPTION 2: 535g winter vegetable soup with 1 slice soy & linseed bread. CALORIES: 292.

Total Calories is 1154-1190 depending which dinner option I have, which is dependent on what shift im working.

So thats the plan for the week! Im just starting with nutrition first this week, then ill start with the exercise the week after.

Goals

The next task came out this morning, yay! Its all about setting goals and how to get to those goals. I will be making a little widget thing for my goals to go on the side of my blog aswell to remind me everyday but will go more in depth this post.

My most important goal is weightloss. Im approx 108kg- my ultimate goal weight is 60kg (as its a nice even number) but im aiming for 63kg, so a loss of 45kg is needed. I would like to lose 1kg per week on average. I say on average, as im sure some weeks I will lose more then that and other weeks I will lose less then that or none at all. So overall, 45kg in 45 weeks. Im officially starting on May 23rd when the round starts so 45 weeks from then will be April 2nd 2012. Seems like soooooooooooo far away! Ive broken that 45kg down into 5kg goals with 5 weeks for each goal and trying to associate those dates with something to look forward to.

First 5kg in 5 weeks: June 27th 2011 (my 25th birthday is June 30th)

10kg in 10 weeks: August 1st 2011 (Beginning of a new month?)

15kg in 15 weeks: September 5th 2011 (around fathers day)

20kg in 20 weeks: October 10th 2011 (end of uni semester)

25kg in 25 weeks: November 14th 2011 (week of holidays)

30kg in 30 weeks: December 19th 2011 (just before xmas)

35kg in 35 weeks: January 23rd 2012 (no idea yet)

40kg in 40 weeks: February 27th 2012 (no idea yet)

45kg in 45 weeks: April 2nd 2010 (goal bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Its just a rough guide, but its a guide to start with. I know weightloss isnt uniform and doesnt conform to timelines but that can be adjusted. On to some other goals!

I drink a shocking amount of diet soft-drink. Like, just really bad. My first month diet-goal is to be rid of diet coke (and any other soft drinks or nasty things like that)! Portion control is also something id like to be getting my head around in the first month. By the end of the challenge id like to be running on a much cleaner diet of fresh foods.

Exercise goals: first month goal is to run 1km without stopping. 3 month goal is to run 5km without stopping. Ill be doing the interval training thing on the treadmills, slowly working up in 30 second incriments of running with decreasing the time walking between sets til i do a full 1km on running without stopping. A long term exercise goal is to kayak from the beachfront down the road to Bribie Island. I have no idea what that is distance wise, but it should take about all morning to get there if we leave at about 6am, then stop for lunch & a breather at the island then come back in the afternoon.

So those are my starting goals, im sure I will come up with more as the challenge progresses!

I fessed up to all my family & friends on facebook

So I decided if I truly wanted to get real & come clean this week I had to dig deep, get over myself and just put it all out there. And the best way? On facebook for all my family & friends to see. No more hiding! This is what I wrote....

Firstly, this is serious. This isnt me on my soupbox again about some random thing, or some silly spam or wateva. This dead serious, and I need your help. This is very hard for me to say this so publicly, but hear me out. This is pretty much as raw as one gets, and I do expect that anyone who reads this keeps this to themselves and doesnt repeat it to people I dont know.

Its no secret I am overweight. I have been battling my weight for many years now and its time for intervention! I have high blood pressure, I have trouble breathing sometimes and im headed in the right direction for a heart attack and diabtetes very soon!

Some of you may know, most wont, that I am doing the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation program which kicks off on May 23. For those who have never heard of it, Michelle Bridges (for those who live under a rock) is the red trainer on The Biggest Loser, and has developed a 12 week online training program which many others like myself are doing. Everyone doing the program starts at the same time- May 23rd, and finishes 12 weeks later with a big party at the end (probably in Sydney- so wanna go meet Mish!!) and there are prizes and things aswell. The biggest prize for me would be gaining control over my weight and living a healthy & active lifestyle again.

Before the challenge begins, Mish makes us do 8 'pre-season' tasks which are about preparing yourself for the challenge so you succeed. The first was introducing ourselves to our fellow team mates on the online forums. This weeks task was about getting real, coming clean and throwing out the excuses. And what better why to get real & come clean then to everyone I know on FB. Mish says that in order for us to succeed we have to face our demons and lay it all out so there are no excuses when the challenge starts. So here goes.

I overeat. I boredom eat. I eat stupid quantities of bad food. I dont exercise. I use food as a reward. Im an emotional eater. Im a stress eater. I sit in my car before work and eat because its less embarrassing. I hide food from my husband because im ashamed.

I am full of excuses. Im not worth it. Im too busy. Im too tired. Who cares? Ill probably fail anyway. This is just another weightloss program ill probably quit like the rest of them. Ill do it another day. This isnt the right time in my life to be trying to lose weight. Im not ready for change. Im scared of change. Ill look stupid at the gym. The gym is probably too busy. Its raining outside and I dont like driving in the rain to the gym. Ive got study to do. Ive got an assignment due. I have to work soon so I have to relax first. I have to spend time with my friends & family. I work long hours. Im a shift worker. Im exhausted. Junk food is cheaper. Im too busy to cook a healthy meal. I dont want to clean up the kitchen after cooking. I dont have time to eat something proper. I need 3 coffees before I can function. I need caffienated soft drinks to function. I need a sugar hit in the afternoon. I need sugar before bed. I dont know how to cook healthy. I hate the taste of water. I hate most fruits. I get bored with salad. What difference does it make anyway?

Excuses, excuses, excuses!!!!!!!!!! No more!!!

I am telling everybody this to hold myself responsible for my own actions. I am the reason im fat and im the only one who can change that. I have started a blog about my weightloss journey: http://ticklishtakingcontrol.blogspot.com/ feel free to check it out if you would like to see how i am going. I would love for people to ask me how im going.....'Hey Jess, did you exercise this morning before work? Are you going to go to the gym tonight? What healthy meals have you had this week??'

Im asking you, my family & friends for support. My life depends on it. And hopefully next time I see you, I will be looking abit slimmer and feeling much healthier.

<3 Jess.