Day 3

Worked night shift last night, did as I planned with my diet which went well. Ive had 4hrs sleep today and I have to work again tonight and I need to try get more sleep but im sitting here, in bed, stomach growling like a gremlin!!!! Man im hungry today!! I was expecting this anyday now- suddenly dropping to 1200cals a day & burning 500cals a day at the gym then night shifts was going to make me hungry at some stage. Hmm..maybe I should have an early dinner with lots of vegies then try for another nap?

Mothers day tomorrow- I finish work at 7:30am, will see how I feel in the morning but I really should go to the gym either in the morning or late evening. We have a BBQ in the afternoon which im not worried about (everyone there knows im doing this) and ill be taking along my own vegie sausages to have with salad. Then im on holidays for 9 days yay! Gonna try smash the gym everyday if I can. I have my exam for uni on June 15th and have done NO study so also need to cram like crazy with the lecture notes on those days off. Ive got my roster up until mid-June and ive been plotting in times to go to the gym and im able to do 5-6 times a week which is awesome. Cant wait til official kick-off!

Day 2

Was meant to be just focusing on diet this week, but my loverly husband decided he would join the gym aswell to help support me (plus it wouldnt hurt him to lose a few), so we hit the gym last night! I havent got my new HRM yet, but I digged up my very old one (still a Polar F11) and smashed out 500 calories in 50mins! I did about 10-15mins on each of the treadmill, crosstrainer, rower & high & low bikes. I admit I was fairly stuffed by the end of the session but not as bad as I thought I would be. Ive been abit nervous about how hard I need to go to get the 1000cal super session but I think its totally doable!Of course, I realise its going to be easier for me being very overweight to burn off calories easier and will keep adjusting my HRM as I get skinnier. But still, I was just wrapped that I got to 500cal last night. And we are going to the gym again this morning yay!!!

My diet has been good aswell, followed to a tee of what I posted previously. Tonight is a 12hr night, so im going to have to tweak it abit. I leave home at 6pm to start at 7pm and dont get my first break til about 9-10pm, so im thinking for today I will have breakfast & lunch as usual, then for dinner I will do the soup thing but have half a can before I leave for work then the other half with a piece of bread on my 9pm break. Then my next break is at 3amish so I thought I would have my normal porridge then I get home at about 8:30am and will have an apple before bed. Its so exciting starting already. Well, not Mish's program, but just following 1200cals a day & exercising. On the way home from the gym last night my husband said he felt so great afterwards and I agreed. It was his first time ever in a gym! So great to finally get him into one with me! Now we can race each other on the machines hehehe! That will be abit hard for me, I was watching him last night & he is alot fitter then I thought he was!

Day 1

Weighed in today: 106.7kg. I thought I was 108kg so thats something I guess! But still, 106.7kg is crazy!!

This week I am mainly focusing on changing my diet- getting used to a 1200cal plan each day. Exercise is optional, although I know from past experiences exercising makes me super-hungry & this week is going to be hard enough as it is going from a high calorie diet to a lower one. Yesturday I ate like I would any other day and consciously worked through each meal with the thoughts that this was wrong, it was making me unhappy and this would be the very last time. I honestly didnt enjoy any of the food with those thoughts going through my mind and I have woken today feeling very optimistic about my diet changes. And just to come clean I will share what I ate yesturday. Be warned, its pretty bad, but this is a typical day for me and is obviously why im fat!

Breakfast (5am): 2 hashbrowns & a 'bacon' & egg muffin (i didnt eat the bacon) and a full fat cappucino from McDoanlds on the way to work.

Lunch (12am): 2 vege sushi rolls (nothing bad with that though! I checked it and it was 350cals on calorie king)

Afternoon snacks (4pm): 2 mars bars while out shopping.

Dinner (7pm): very large serving of oven baked chips.

Dessert (10pm): a bounty & a twix chocolate bar.

TOTAL CALORIES: 2314.

How shameful. But thats all in the past now. Here's to the future!

Fitting it all in

I know we arent up to the task of working out our diaries and plans, but its been troubling me on how im going to fit it all in with shift work & study. Ive posted a topic about it on the forums and have had some interesting replies, and hopefully Michelle may have some tips aswell. I think a few people on the forums arent reading it properly and think im making excuses for not finding time to exercise which isnt the case at all. Ive got time, just not in the same way as people who work mon-fri 9-5. I cant squeeze in time to exercise when there is no time to squeeze anything into! Ultimetely we need to be doing 6 gym sessions a week with one of them being a double, or 1000cals. Ive sorta come up with a rough idea of how to manage my days with work & study and see where I have time to fit in gym sessions.

Day shifts were I have to work the day after aswell.

4:30am- wake up, breakfast, get ready, drive to work.

7:30pm- finish work, drive home.

8:30pm- get home, have shower, do dishes, feed dogs etc.

9:30pm- go to bed.

Last day shift before nights or days off.

Same as above til 7:30pm- finish work, drive to gym.

8:30pm- arrive at gym, get changed. Work out for an hour.

9:45pm- drive home.

10pm- get home, shower, dishes, dogs etc.

11pm- go to bed.

1st night shift.

8am- get up, breakfast, drive to gym.

9am- get to gym, 1hr workout.

10am- finish gym, drive home.

10:30am- get home, shower, do any chores, have lunch.

12am-2pm- study.

2pm-5pm- nap before work. (it usually takes me about 1-2hrs to even fall asleep during the day)

5pm- get up & ready for work.

6pm- go to work.

Work til 7:30am next day.

7:30am- drive home.

8:30am- get home, shower, go to bed.

Sleep til 5pm

5pm- get up, get ready for work.

6pm- go to work again.

Last Night Duty (then onto days off).

7:30am- finish work, drive to gym.

8:30am- get to gym, get changed, workout 1hr.

9:30am-go home.

10am- get home, shower, go to bed.

Sleep til 6pm

6pm- wake up, dinner, dishes, dogs etc.

8pm-10pm- study.

Days Off

8am- get up, breakfast, go to gym.

9am- get to gym, workout 1-1.5hrs

10-10:30am- finish gym, go home.

10:30am- get home, shower.

11am-5pm- study, free time.

5pm- dinner.

7pm- drive to gym.

7:30pm-8:30pm- gym session 1hr.

9:00pm- get home, shower.

9:30pm- bed.  

On average I either do 3 day or 3 night shifts in a row with 4 days off afterwards. So counting up all available times to go to the gym I can do 4 days of double sessions, so 8 single sessions, plus 1 session on my last day shift or 1 session after my last night shift, so I have time to do 9 gym sessions a week. And we only need to do 6 a week, with one of them being a 1000cal session. Hopefully this may show that im not full of excuses about being time-poor, I just have to use my time differently to most people. Hopefully someone else in a similar boat could get some ideas about better time management aswell, looking at the whole week as one, and not single days like the fortunate majority of people do....

Old photos

 Back down memory lane today for this weeks task on goal setting: old photos of me when I was at my goal weight and what id like to get back to.

At a friends 18th. I was about 68kg here.

At my engagement party. I was about 65kg here. I still have these shorts aswell!!

Old, skinny clothes

 As part of task 3 this week, I digged out all my old skinny clothes to set some goals of outfits id like to wear again.

First up, these a size 12 sportsgirl pants. Ive never worn them and this photo does no justice, but they are so amazing!! Its hard to see, but there are faint gold stripes going down the legs aswell, and the back is very military with buttons etc. Oh cant wait!!

 These are a pair of size 12 shorts from jeanswest which I also have never worn. To me it signifies going for long hikes in cute shorts!

 This demin skirt is a size 12 (very snug size 12!) from jeanswest and I used to wear this skirt pretty much everyday at uni! I love simple, basic clothes to match current trends to and a hot demin skirt is always key!

 Now this white skirt is a size 16 from esprit. This is something im aiming to fit into much sooner then the other clothes. Id like to be in this skirt by the end of the 12 weeks. Last time I wore this I think I was about 90kg, which is 18kg to lose, but I know I can get into this by the end of the challenge!

 This dress is just so stunning on. Its a size 10 from powerhouse and I wore it to my cousins wedding and looked amazing! Again, the photo does no justice, but it has alot of subtle glitter through the print and its so pretty!!!

 These jeans are a very snug size 16 from jeanswest and are another clothing goal I can reach sooner then later. Id like to be in these jeans by the end of the challenge. Ive never worn them either.

 Getting into the skimpy stuff now! These size 10 aqua shorts are so cute over a bikini and this is ultimate goal material right here!

Again, tiny little size 10 roxy boardshorts which I cant believe my butt used to look great in!

Facts & Figures

Ive been reading Michelle Bridges 'crunchtime' book and looking up online all about the science of weightloss with formula's for basal metabolic rate, how many calories to burn per kg etc and have come up with some interesting figures. Im pretty certain they are accurate aswell as its all explained in Mish's book.

To start with- my basal metabolic rate, the number of calories I burn if I was to lay in bed all day. Based on my age, gender, height & weight, my BMR is 1885cals per day. Then using the Harris Benedict Formula of factoring in lifestyle ( I chose sedentary, even though im on my feet at work all day), I multiply my daily BMR by 1.2, which equals 2262cals per day. So my weekly BMR is 2262 x 7= 15834.

Next, the exercise- our mission (which we have chosen to accept) is to burn 3500cals per week. So adding the 3500cals per week exercise with my BMR(15834) equals 19334cals per week burned.

Now for calories in: 1200cals a day is 8400cals per week.

Now for the highly scientific formula: calories in minus calories out!

8400 (in) - 19334 (out) =10934cals deficit per week.

Next is calories per kilo. After much research its well estimated that 3500 cals is equal to 450grams (or 0.45kg) So my deficit of 10934, divided by 3500 equals 3.124. Now multiply 3.124 by .45, and this equals 1.4058. So my estimated weight lost per week based on the mathematics of weightloss is 1.4kg.

Interesting stuff!

Obviously, this calculation will change as I lose weight- my BMR is based on weight so it drops so will my BMR and my calorie deficit. So it will be good to re-calculate the above as I lose weight to see how much more calories I need to burn to maintain a steady weightloss.

Getting in the groove

Im going to start cleaning up my diet this week in preparation for when the challenge starts. I have no idea what kind of mealplan we will be on but I know its 1200cals a day so ive tried to structure it around that. Im sure the 12wbt diet will have more specific requirments in terms of protein, carbs, fats etc but for now im just going to start with managing 1200cals the best way I think. So this is my diet plan for the week:

Breakfast: 34g (1 satchet) of instant oats with 250mls calcium-fortified soy milk & 50g of mixed berries. CALORIES: 318.

Morning Tea: 1 apple. CALORIES: 68.

Lunch: 2 slices soy & linseed bread with salad (baby spinach, sprouts, cucumber) and 63g vegetarian 'lunchmeat'. CALORIES: 332.

Afternoon tea: 1 tub of soy yogurt. CALORIES: 145.

Dinner: OPTION 1: dry baked vegies (zucchini, capsicum, 100g pumpkin, 60g sweet potato) with 120g BBQ soy sausages. CALORIES: 328.

OPTION 2: 535g winter vegetable soup with 1 slice soy & linseed bread. CALORIES: 292.

Total Calories is 1154-1190 depending which dinner option I have, which is dependent on what shift im working.

So thats the plan for the week! Im just starting with nutrition first this week, then ill start with the exercise the week after.

Goals

The next task came out this morning, yay! Its all about setting goals and how to get to those goals. I will be making a little widget thing for my goals to go on the side of my blog aswell to remind me everyday but will go more in depth this post.

My most important goal is weightloss. Im approx 108kg- my ultimate goal weight is 60kg (as its a nice even number) but im aiming for 63kg, so a loss of 45kg is needed. I would like to lose 1kg per week on average. I say on average, as im sure some weeks I will lose more then that and other weeks I will lose less then that or none at all. So overall, 45kg in 45 weeks. Im officially starting on May 23rd when the round starts so 45 weeks from then will be April 2nd 2012. Seems like soooooooooooo far away! Ive broken that 45kg down into 5kg goals with 5 weeks for each goal and trying to associate those dates with something to look forward to.

First 5kg in 5 weeks: June 27th 2011 (my 25th birthday is June 30th)

10kg in 10 weeks: August 1st 2011 (Beginning of a new month?)

15kg in 15 weeks: September 5th 2011 (around fathers day)

20kg in 20 weeks: October 10th 2011 (end of uni semester)

25kg in 25 weeks: November 14th 2011 (week of holidays)

30kg in 30 weeks: December 19th 2011 (just before xmas)

35kg in 35 weeks: January 23rd 2012 (no idea yet)

40kg in 40 weeks: February 27th 2012 (no idea yet)

45kg in 45 weeks: April 2nd 2010 (goal bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Its just a rough guide, but its a guide to start with. I know weightloss isnt uniform and doesnt conform to timelines but that can be adjusted. On to some other goals!

I drink a shocking amount of diet soft-drink. Like, just really bad. My first month diet-goal is to be rid of diet coke (and any other soft drinks or nasty things like that)! Portion control is also something id like to be getting my head around in the first month. By the end of the challenge id like to be running on a much cleaner diet of fresh foods.

Exercise goals: first month goal is to run 1km without stopping. 3 month goal is to run 5km without stopping. Ill be doing the interval training thing on the treadmills, slowly working up in 30 second incriments of running with decreasing the time walking between sets til i do a full 1km on running without stopping. A long term exercise goal is to kayak from the beachfront down the road to Bribie Island. I have no idea what that is distance wise, but it should take about all morning to get there if we leave at about 6am, then stop for lunch & a breather at the island then come back in the afternoon.

So those are my starting goals, im sure I will come up with more as the challenge progresses!

I fessed up to all my family & friends on facebook

So I decided if I truly wanted to get real & come clean this week I had to dig deep, get over myself and just put it all out there. And the best way? On facebook for all my family & friends to see. No more hiding! This is what I wrote....

Firstly, this is serious. This isnt me on my soupbox again about some random thing, or some silly spam or wateva. This dead serious, and I need your help. This is very hard for me to say this so publicly, but hear me out. This is pretty much as raw as one gets, and I do expect that anyone who reads this keeps this to themselves and doesnt repeat it to people I dont know.

Its no secret I am overweight. I have been battling my weight for many years now and its time for intervention! I have high blood pressure, I have trouble breathing sometimes and im headed in the right direction for a heart attack and diabtetes very soon!

Some of you may know, most wont, that I am doing the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation program which kicks off on May 23. For those who have never heard of it, Michelle Bridges (for those who live under a rock) is the red trainer on The Biggest Loser, and has developed a 12 week online training program which many others like myself are doing. Everyone doing the program starts at the same time- May 23rd, and finishes 12 weeks later with a big party at the end (probably in Sydney- so wanna go meet Mish!!) and there are prizes and things aswell. The biggest prize for me would be gaining control over my weight and living a healthy & active lifestyle again.

Before the challenge begins, Mish makes us do 8 'pre-season' tasks which are about preparing yourself for the challenge so you succeed. The first was introducing ourselves to our fellow team mates on the online forums. This weeks task was about getting real, coming clean and throwing out the excuses. And what better why to get real & come clean then to everyone I know on FB. Mish says that in order for us to succeed we have to face our demons and lay it all out so there are no excuses when the challenge starts. So here goes.

I overeat. I boredom eat. I eat stupid quantities of bad food. I dont exercise. I use food as a reward. Im an emotional eater. Im a stress eater. I sit in my car before work and eat because its less embarrassing. I hide food from my husband because im ashamed.

I am full of excuses. Im not worth it. Im too busy. Im too tired. Who cares? Ill probably fail anyway. This is just another weightloss program ill probably quit like the rest of them. Ill do it another day. This isnt the right time in my life to be trying to lose weight. Im not ready for change. Im scared of change. Ill look stupid at the gym. The gym is probably too busy. Its raining outside and I dont like driving in the rain to the gym. Ive got study to do. Ive got an assignment due. I have to work soon so I have to relax first. I have to spend time with my friends & family. I work long hours. Im a shift worker. Im exhausted. Junk food is cheaper. Im too busy to cook a healthy meal. I dont want to clean up the kitchen after cooking. I dont have time to eat something proper. I need 3 coffees before I can function. I need caffienated soft drinks to function. I need a sugar hit in the afternoon. I need sugar before bed. I dont know how to cook healthy. I hate the taste of water. I hate most fruits. I get bored with salad. What difference does it make anyway?

Excuses, excuses, excuses!!!!!!!!!! No more!!!

I am telling everybody this to hold myself responsible for my own actions. I am the reason im fat and im the only one who can change that. I have started a blog about my weightloss journey: http://ticklishtakingcontrol.blogspot.com/ feel free to check it out if you would like to see how i am going. I would love for people to ask me how im going.....'Hey Jess, did you exercise this morning before work? Are you going to go to the gym tonight? What healthy meals have you had this week??'

Im asking you, my family & friends for support. My life depends on it. And hopefully next time I see you, I will be looking abit slimmer and feeling much healthier.

<3 Jess.